Cow Hampshire Humor: Fake New Hampshire Towns

First things first. This is fake news.

Not long ago a friend shared an old post from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency blog (of daily humor). It was a witty list of Fake Massachusetts Towns, by Michael Andour Brodeur, and includes places like Lameham and Methol. It is funniest to people who live there or near there, because you have to walk in our footsteps …..

When I googled “Fake New Hampshire Towns” nothing came up. Nothing! But why should that be surprising? New Hampshire folks are more practical than their neighbors to the south, and our towns already have some pretty oddball names.

It would be difficult to make these places sound less fake. You don’t believe me? Okay, here is the proof. Pick out the places on this list that are real locations in New Hampshire (notice I say ‘locations’ and not ‘towns’). There are FIVE REAL names mixed in with the fake ones.  And keep in mind, real or fake, you can’t get there from here.

Feel free to post your own idea of a great fake town in comments.I have included the answers at the end of this story.

Nutt’s Pond, Manchester NH. Members of the Manning and Ryan families circa 1920.

— FAKE NEW HAMPSHIRE TOWNS (OR ARE THEY?) —

Avalanche Station

Blackflyville

Bullocks

Crotchtown

Dale [adjacent to the town of Hill, and down the road from the village of Dusty Trail]

Disunity [Unity’s less popular sister-town]

Eastlessland [adjacent to Westmoreland]

Eidelweiss

Gypsy Moth Head

Instead (must be near Alstead, Barnstead, or Hampstead).

Longgonic

Nutter

Pea Porridge Place

Pencilacook

Piscatsanddogswah

Poocham

Pumpkin Parade (These towns participate in pumpkin wars.)

Shower (on the outskirts of Bath)

Smarter (adjacent to Dummer)

Snowville

Sununusaki (i.e., in the vicinity of Sununu’s Purchase)

Sununus Purchase (must be in Waterville Valley)

Tomborough

Triplet Hill (near Twin Mountain)

Unstable (/unst’ -a -bull/) [Stolen from Fake Massachusetts Towns list by Michael Andor Brodeur]

Yogurt Cascade (probably near Stonyfield)

Youkilledkenny (near Kilkenny)

Workmen dumping ice and snow from streets of Berlin, NH 1939, Marion Post Wolcott; Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division.

—- WHICH FROM THIS LIST ARE REAL? —-
Avalanche Station [a real place in Hart’s Location]
Crotchtown  [a real place in Sanbornton NH]
Eidelweiss [a real place in Madison, Carroll Co NH]
Nutter [a real place, a district in Bath NH]
Pea Porridge Place [there is a real pond by this name in Madison NH]
Poocham [this is a real place in Westmoreland NH]
Snowville [this is a real place in Eaton NH]

———LIST OF REAL NEW HAMPSHIRE TOWNS——–

Table of New Hampshire Municipalities

Alphabetic New Hampshire Town List with Historic USGS Map (UNH Dimond Library)

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6 Responses to Cow Hampshire Humor: Fake New Hampshire Towns

  1. Paul A Sand says:

    In the spirit of Unity/Disunity maybe we should just rename Concord as “Discord”.

    My own town… Rockandrollinsford?

  2. heatherrojo says:

    My favorite fake town is Frost Heaves, New Hampshire

  3. Amy says:

    So the rest of those places are made up, I assume? In New England, anything is possible. My favorite was Unstable!

    • Janice Brown says:

      Unstable is one of my favorites too. Mainly because it is a spoof of “Dunstable” which is the early name of the area where I currently live 😀 Note that locals would realize the pronunciation would be UN-stah-bull not UN-stay-bull.

      And yes, if not listed as “Real” in the lower list, they are fake names. Some of the towns in brackets [ ] or ( ) are real, for example BATH is a real town, but SHOWER is not. Amy, thanks again for reading and commenting.

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