Not long ago a friend shared an old post from McSweeney’s Internet Tendency blog (of daily humor). It was a witty list of Fake Massachusetts Towns, by Michael Andour Brodeur, and includes places like Lameham and Methol. It is funniest to people who live there or near there, because you have to walk in our footsteps …..
When I googled “Fake New Hampshire Towns” nothing came up. Nothing! But why should that be surprising? New Hampshire folks are more practical than their neighbors to the south, and our towns already have some pretty oddball names.
It would be difficult to make these places sound less fake. You don’t believe me? Okay, here is the proof. Pick out the places on this list that are real locations in New Hampshire (notice I say ‘locations’ and not ‘towns’). There are FIVE REAL names mixed in with the fake ones. And keep in mind, real or fake, you can’t get there from here.
Feel free to post your own idea of a great fake town in comments.I have included the answers at the end of this story.
— FAKE NEW HAMPSHIRE TOWNS (OR ARE THEY?) —
Dale [adjacent to the town of Hill, and down the road from the village of Dusty Trail]
Disunity [Unity’s less popular sister-town]
Eastlessland [adjacent to Westmoreland]
Gypsy Moth Head
Instead (must be near Alstead, Barnstead, or Hampstead).
Pea Porridge Place
Pumpkin Parade (These towns participate in pumpkin wars.)
Shower (on the outskirts of Bath)
Smarter (adjacent to Dummer)
Sununusaki (i.e., in the vicinity of Sununu’s Purchase)
Sununus Purchase (must be in Waterville Valley)
Triplet Hill (near Twin Mountain)
Unstable (/unst’ -a -bull/) [Stolen from Fake Massachusetts Towns list by Michael Andor Brodeur]
Yogurt Cascade (probably near Stonyfield)
Youkilledkenny (near Kilkenny)
—- WHICH FROM THIS LIST ARE REAL? —-
Avalanche Station [a real place in Hart’s Location]
Crotchtown [a real place in Sanbornton NH]
Eidelweiss [a real place in Madison, Carroll Co NH]
Nutter [a real place, a district in Bath NH]
Pea Porridge Place [there is a real pond by this name in Madison NH]
Poocham [this is a real place in Westmoreland NH]
Snowville [this is a real place in Eaton NH]
———LIST OF REAL NEW HAMPSHIRE TOWNS——–
Alphabetic New Hampshire Town List with Historic USGS Map (UNH Dimond Library)